Does anyone know where to get help for domestic abuse?

by Name Removed
(La Paz, Bolivia)

Is there any help out there for all those women suffering from abuse of their men? Preferably an international organisation, whatever, I don´t know how to wait another 9 days without going insane here. So tired of the lies, the hypocrisy!
And it is not only foreigners they cheat and treat bad! I am South American as well, luckily I was adopted, wouldn't wanted to grow up to be like the people over here. I can´t stand it anymore, I hate myself from loving someone who treats me like a doormat....worse, a doormat has a purpose, to him I have none. I need help staying away from him, you know how it is, loving someone even though they treat you bad. Just happy so far my injuries have healed up. But you´ll never be able to erase the mental image of blood dripping from your eye.... Please if anyone knows anything!

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Sep 05, 2012
thanks
by: Talicha

I´ll see what I´ll do, I´ll def. gonna do a report, just in case. Thinking about hiring someone to see if he is cheating on me with his ex too.....
thanks for the help....

Sep 05, 2012
did you get help?
by: Anonymous

did you find someone to help you?

Sep 03, 2012
call and ask them
by: Anonymous

OPS/OMS
Organización Panamericana de la Salud
Organización Mundial de la Salud
Teléfono: 2412465
LA PAZ - BOLIVIA

Sep 03, 2012
some resources
by: Anonymous

If you live in an alojamiento, and he does not live there with you, but visits you, you have every right to restrict his entry by asking the alojamiento to not allow him to enter.

These are some organizations that you can contact. If they do not have offices in La Paz, they can tell you who can help you in La Paz because most of the Women's Rights organizations are members of NETWORKS. Contact them anyways, even if they are not in La Paz and ask them to help you find someone.

http://www.fundacionconstruir.org/index.php/

http://victimasportal.org/Paises/Bolivia.html



This is a Human Right guide for what to do in cases like yours:

http://www.mpdl.org/descargas/111117-mujeres-violencia-domestica.pdf



El Centro de Información y Desarrollo de la Mujer – CIDEM, cuenta con un Servicio de Atención Integral PsicoSocio Legal, especializado en el asesoramiento a víctimas que sufren violencia, doméstica y sexual.

http://www.un.org/womenwatch/daw/vaw/ngocontribute/CIDEM.pdf



Centro de Promoción de la Mujer Gregoria Apaza (CPMGA)

http://www.gregorias.org.bo/quienes-somos.php


An article that might help:

http://www.eclac.cl/publicaciones/xml/7/28987/lcl2721e.pdf



Another center that might know what you can do:

http://apprendebol.blogspot.com/2011/07/casos-de-violencia-intrafamiliar-en-la.html



The police now have centers called the Brigada De Protección a la Familia.



This is a really good document. You need to read it for sure. It tells all about the networks that help, and which organizations are members of the networks to help abused women.

http://www.ops.org.bo/textocompleto/nvi11551.pdf

Sep 03, 2012
desperate
by: Talicha

I can only find casa de la mujer in Sta Cruz. My friend took me to the police but my boyfriend called me while I was there so I had to leave. I only have taken some fotos of my injury to my eye and then bad fotos of bruises and I have X-rays from hospital of my finger but it wasn´t broken just a lesion that can´t be seen but it has been two weeks and my finger still hurts. I know also the police won´t do anything, I know how they are in these countries. I just feel so dumb I can´t leave him, at least I am in an alojamiento that my friend owns and she doesn´t charge me anything but he comes and visit. Only reason I don´t want to go back to his mothers house is because his family is out all day and when I am alone there with him he can do whatever he wants without anyone hearing. But then he already hurt me in public which was embarrassing enough. I don´t want to press charges but I hate it that he made his mom and sisters think that I am the one with the problem. His family is very strange as it is. They know he has beaten me and tell me "well you shouldn't provoke him". They lie to me and they are just horrible in general. They blame me for not being able to "change" him too....

Sep 02, 2012
he won't stop if you don't stop it
by: Anonymous

He won't stop as long as he sees you're not going to do anything about it.

Sep 02, 2012
abuse is against human rights
by: Anonymous

Contact the human rights office. They have all the information about what you can do, where you can go, who can help you, what your rights are, and what steps you need to take. Call them. They will help you. ABUSE IS AGAINST INTERNATIONAL LAW not just Bolivian law.

www.derechoshumanosbolivia.org

Sep 02, 2012
he's no man
by: Anonymous

Real men don't hit women. Period. Leave him. He's not worth it.

Sep 02, 2012
Get help fast and leave fast
by: Anonymous

you can ask for help at any church even if you aren't a member of the church. and they can tell you where they have shelters if you have nowhere to go. domestic abuse is against the law in Bolivia but it is very, very common. but there is help. you need to go to the defensoría and the police and any church just seek help as soon as you can. don't fear him. if you have family here, leave him and go stay with your family. abusers are only macho guys when they think you have no one to defend you. so get all the support you can from as many people and places as you can. when he sees you are not alone, it will be clear that he is actually a coward. only a coward would hit a girl. everybody knows that. i've seen grown men cry when faced with jail sentences for abuse. they aren't macho when they know there will be consequences! so he has to know and see that there are real consequences. even if you leave him. otherwise it will happen again to someone else.

Sep 02, 2012
Please put yourself first! It will only get worse.
by: Anonymous

First, I would encourage you to photograph any physical abuse that has left marks and file a report with local police, even if you believe the local police will not be of help to you. Setting a precedent and keeping a filed history of the abuse is very, very important. Right now you may feel that you might not present charges against him. But in the future, if you change your mind, and you didn't do this, you will regret it.

Second, please put yourself first. It will only get worse. When you tolerate physical abuse and there are no consequences for the abuser, in their mind it is the same as you saying to them "I give you permission to do this." They see you tolerate and accept it, they see you continue to love them. Therefore, it WILL CONTINUE.

It may seem like you love this person. What you feel is not love. It may be dependence, it may be that your self-esteem is low, it may be that you are afraid to be on your own, or maybe you feel you'll be in greater danger if you report him. Nothing could be further from the truth. He abuses you because he is weak, NOT because he is strong.

Please do yourself a favor and leave this situation as soon as you can. It will not change. He may apologize and appear repentant and maybe he honestly is - after the fact! But he has no self-control. And as long as he has none, it won't matter if he is sorry each time. It will CONTINUE. He will lose self-control again because he has none.

In addition to filing police reports EACH AND EVERY TIME THIS OCCURS (and hopefully you will be smart and leave him and therefore it won't occur again) you can and should also file reports with the Defensor de la Mujer or Casa de la Mujer, if there is one in La Paz. Call your local phone company's information number to find out how to contact them. They usually also have counsellors who can speak with you and help you sort things out.

There is nothing you can do that will change him. He will not change unless he himself wants to change. He needs professional help and will not change unless he seeks that help ON HIS OWN. If he looks for professional help because he feels obligated to do that by you, it will not help him. Because he will do it to please you, not because he truly wanted it himself. So you need to understand that there is nothing you can do to help him. He will not change for you. You are not the person who can help him. You are not the person who can change him.

Please take yourself out of this situation. No one can help you if you have not decided that getting out is what you need to do. If you go back to him, time and again, he will only see it as permission to continue. Please understand that.

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